Once upon a time, far away, in another time zone, actually, there was a being called 'Else.' Else was, quite simply, something Else, and was quite happy being that way. Else wandered the time zone selling unhappy people toilets. The toilets, in every case but one, made the unhappy people happy, so she quickly went out of business. We're not terribly concerned with the people who were made happy by their purchase of a toilet. No. We're more interested in the heart-wrenching story of Little Peter Prostate who bought The Toilet That Made Him Ecstatic.
Now, Peter Prostate had terrible problems with his rectum. He suffered from an ailment known as 'prolapse' and, well, his rectum had a nasty habit of ... falling out of him. Doctors all over the land lamented their inability to do anything with this poor person, and Peter lamented day and night (but, oddly, never in the afternoon when soaps were on) until Else came by and knocked on his door.
Peter opened the door to find a Toilet Salesbeing there. "Hello! Would you like to buy a toilet?" Else asked. Peter was perplexed, having never heard of anything called a toilet, and asked Else to explain what it was.
Else was an accomplished salesbeing at this time and knew how to sell toilets to people. After a 10 minute talk, Peter decided he wanted one. He told Else of his trick rectum, and Else told him that a special toilet would be made! After this, Else left, vowing to return soon.
Not long after that, Else came by with a huge toilet. This toilet was the masterpiece of Else's long toilet career, and Peter was impressed. He took it and installed it in his 'bathroom' (So named because he liked to bathe in the toilet) and used it!
Lo! To Peter's surprise, he discovered the toilet had Strange Secret Things associated with it, and one day while bathing he decided to take a swim down the hole at the bottom. What he found there was Astonishing to Peter and he lived there for a long time.
As pass the seasons and the years, and, yes, gas, so did Peter pass away. He willed the Toilet Adventure to OtherMUSH (for we were the only place that wanted it) and it is now open to the public. If you want to see this fascinating adventure, why not telnet to OtherMUSH and have a swim!