Mr. Jarin

Mr. Jarin, former apprentice of Suzy Chapstick, patented a technique for removing a ski from one's ass. He toured worldwide, giving lectures to such august audiences as the cast of "Melrose Place," the Cleveland Fire Department and The Pope. Immediately after a lecture to the Wizards of OtherMUSH, he was abducted, put in the trunk of a Buick and forced to cover his body with dairy products.

Wishing to thank him for such an informative talk, two of the Wizards followed him out of the hall and saw his abduction. They followed the Buick to an abandoned chinese laundry and, when the fiends were done with him, rescued him from certain doom and took him home and kept him chained in the basement.